Brilliant letter

Here I reproduce a letter to the Editor in today's Irish Independent:

AFTER READING and listening about Ryanair and their charges I decided to open a barbershop and call it Ryan-Hair.

I will determine the price of haircut by the following criteria.

First of all, the charge for the haircut will be only €0.01 with a few other charges.

If you want to sit while getting your haircut it will cost you €4.00 to get in the chair and €4.00 to get out.

If you decide to stand during the haircut there is a priority charge of €10.00.

If you want your hair washed it will cost you €4.00 for cold water or €6.00 for hot water and if you want it dried add €4.00 more.

If you want to sit inside the barbershop while waiting for an open chair it will cost you €2.00 sit-down charge.

If you bring shopping bags with you, it will cost €1.50 per bag when you enter and €1.50 when you leave.

Other charges include VAT at 13.5pc, a service charge of 10pc, €2.50 for credit card charge and last charge will be for €3.00 for hidden charges such as the use of the loo, one cup of coffee or tea, depreciation on clippers and combs, shampoo and conditioner.

Terms and Conditions: Hair cannot be more than 4 inches long; Check-in times for haircut at least 20 minutes before appointment; Seating is not assigned, first come first serve.

Kevin Devitte, Westport, Co. Mayo.